2023#
Welcome to my 2023 Collection of Nonsense#
This year is still a year of continuous self-awareness for me. Who am I, what do I want, why do I live in this world? The biggest wish every year is to understand myself better. Self-consistency, self-justification, maintaining biases.
Keyword: Web3
The biggest keyword this year is Web3. I feel that because of Web3, I have met many people and become more fragmented. But because of Web3, I have also taken many first steps. Thanks to Web3, thanks to the many friends, netizens, and colleagues I met this year. From the Black Mountain in January to the domestic in December, I have been to 9 places this year and taken more than 15 flights. This year is also the year with the most flights and the most outbound trips in the UK. Montenegro → France → Portugal → France → China → Hong Kong → Singapore → Turkey → Japan → Taiwan → China, I experienced the advantages of having a passport for the first time. This year is also the year when I met the most people, and I may have met many friends many times. From online friends to meeting in person, and then becoming old friends. It's really wonderful and destined, and fate has indeed happened.
Maybe because I am in Europe and play the role of a hacker and DevRel, I feel exceptionally divided this year. I'm not saying who is right or wrong, making money is not a problem, and making money is not a problem. The problem lies in my understanding of this industry. The feelings of the East and the West are very, very different. My Twitter is a good example. The Western circle discusses technology, while many Chinese tweets are about making money. Everyone has their own position, but as an observer, I feel divided and inconsistent. Overall, the ratio in the West should be 5:5, half technical personnel and half speculators, while the impression I get from China is 80% speculators + making money + scientists. This makes me feel very uncomfortable, similar to the feeling in Singapore this year. I can't handle so much information from various news and groups, and I don't want to know how much a certain coin has risen. But I tell myself that in life, we often face many choices, no, every step we take is a choice. I have a clear understanding of myself, that sometimes I am stupid, I can't do multiple tasks at the same time like many people, I can only do one thing at a time, either trading or researching. Therefore, I chose research. Research makes me happier and calmer, and I hope to stick to this industry forever. I'm not short of money, I just really don't have that much interest in these things, hahaha. This year I have gained more understanding of myself and become more indifferent, without desires or demands, desires dissipate, and I accept the monotony.
I really saw a lot this year, covering many fields such as Greenfield, AI, Depin, EVM, ZK, NFT, and tried many new things. I developed a Discord bot, a Chrome extension, and independently developed a DAPP. I participated in 4 hackathons, judged 3 of them, and won some bounties in 3 out of 4 hackathons. Although my work doesn't require much development ability, I still write code well and learn technology by reading documentation. I think I have done well in studying and expressing my opinions this year. Although the output of research reports is relatively low, I have written about 10 high-quality tweets and articles, and I hope to write more and maintain my number of followers next year. In my research, I have met many talented people, which makes me admire their outstanding talents and sigh at my own shortcomings. It is because of your excellence that I can study and output more diligently. Although many of you are just online friends, I can't help but shed tears of gratitude. Finally, I want to say a word, although in a bull market we should let go of biases and embrace bubbles, for me, the reason why I stay in this industry is not for the sake of money. I hope to maintain my biases and move forward independently.
Keyword: Hardship
Many old friends said that my state has improved a lot this year. The current me has formed a self-consistent closed loop, while the previous me was still searching. Life needs subtraction, and the current me has cut off many unnecessary thoughts and emotional expenditures. Although burdened with hardships, life is no longer just black and white, it has added some colors and human touch.
This whole year has changed a lot compared to the past few years. In the past, I lived in hardship, believed in hardship, and indulged in hardship. Because of some reasons in my early years, I started to be extremely harsh on myself. It can be explained in one sentence, the bullying and harshness of the inner personality towards the outer personality made me unable to rest, unable to free myself from certain states. So, I don't like work, I need work to feel pain, to no longer be numb.
But this year, work has gradually become less effective, but I still love work and need work to enrich myself and feel the meaning of being alive in this world. This may be the side effect of early exposure to society. I started working at the age of 17 and have always had high-intensity part-time or full-time jobs. I used to work 7 days a week, more than 70 hours a day, worked continuously for 23 days without rest, and was taxed because of too many part-time jobs. Work has always accompanied me.
Overtime is my strict requirement for myself. I hope I can do better and do more. Many times, I am like an overheated steam engine, others will have alarms when overloaded, but I don't. For a period of time, I was in a state of ups and downs and exhaustion, and the worst part was that I didn't realize it because I didn't realize that I needed to protect myself from being too harsh on myself. I am still not mature enough in many aspects, hahaha.
But this year I have met many people, some of whom have opened my heart and allowed more thoughts to come in, accepting new logic and making myself more perfect. I want to thank the people I met this year.
Work is still important now, it is the meaning of being alive for me, but I am doing what I love. However, I am still the person who works overtime like drinking water, and this may not change. Work will always be the top priority, workaholic.
When writing this paragraph, I feel a bit divided. Part of it is that friends think I am better, and part of it is that I have actually fallen into a deeper vortex. Actually, because of Web3 this year, I often get stuck in work and can't get out. I feel more stressed because of the pressure of not studying. The progress of the industry is too fast, with new topics every day, technological innovations, industry trends, or other replacements. Falling behind without learning is the source of my pressure. But it is also because of the pressure of the industry that I love it more. Finally, let's talk about work. For me, the way we live in this world and what kind of life we live are our own choices. It's just that for me, the long-term self-struggle has made me understand that I am a highly functional + highly sensitive + avoidant person. I need work to maintain my hope for the world. Although work is gradually devouring me. Gradually focusing on work has become less useful, and I really should go and see.
Keyword: Life
I'm still single this year! Work is my home! (Just kidding)
My current state is not suitable for entering into relationships. Although there have been hopes, the problem of "once in you never come out" is indeed a big one. I love Web3, so I want to devote all my energy to it. Therefore, I don't have much time to allocate to life and emotions. But I did go on some dates this year, although fewer than last year, but there are more women around me, maybe because I am more relaxed. There are many outstanding women around me, but I really have no interest in them, it's more of an appreciation. They can shine and radiate independently without needing a man! Sisters, keep it up. I admire their talents and clear understanding, and I feel that it's great to have them. Although I still have crushes, they will quickly fade away, and I am still as unstable as ever. But this year I have a clear idea of the future, I don't have to get married, I don't have to have children, many things are not necessary.
In terms of cooking, I have made some progress, my knife skills have improved. Although the number of times I cook has decreased, I still try my best to make better dishes. Cooking must be joyful!
Finally, in 2024, stay true to your original intentions, stay self-consistent, and create my own world.